You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
