Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
