we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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