I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
