Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Also, beer. Big fan.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
