you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
