I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
