i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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