is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
