Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize