I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
