i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
