Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
