i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
