Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
