i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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