the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
