I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
this boner is exhausting
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You ruined the universe
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
