This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize