Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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