He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
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Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
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All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize