Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize