mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
