apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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