I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
