This girl is more easily done than said...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
