i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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