Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
