Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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