The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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