Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
