I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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