My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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