Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize