..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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