I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
