You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
