I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
