She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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