Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
