I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
