Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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