I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
