While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
