And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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