you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
