Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
