paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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