Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Did I show you my penis last night?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
