hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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