Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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