Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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