So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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