I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
