I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
