He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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