If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize