Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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