We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
high people should be assigned attendants
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
